Christian DATING Resources?

“Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him. - Genesis 2:18

“I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or the does of the field, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases.” - Song of Songs 2:7

Dating? Courtship? Or WHAT?

A young man recently reached out to me asking for some good reading material on dating, since he’d recently started exploring a relationship with a girl at church. Frankly, when he asked me for good books on the subject I came up completely blank. Back in my day we had books like I Kissed Dating Goodbye, which has a mixed reputation, and if I’m honest I’d basically kissed books on dating goodbye. Yet here I had an earnest young Christian reader, ready to learn, and looking for things to study on his own. He wasn’t averse to meeting with an elder of the church or taking a class, but he hoped to engage resources in addition to those. But even my elders had mostly blank stares and shrugs when it came to reading material on the subject.

Benefit #3,467 of being part of a denomination/network like The Alliance of Reformed Churches is that you have an easy pool from which to pick the brains of like-minded pastors. A few simple interactions later, I had some quality recommendations to pass along and - rather than simply one-off emailing a Refuge member, it seemed prudent to compile them here for anyone who might be searching.

“Print is Dead” - Egon Spengler

While that wasn’t a true statement in the ‘80s when the brainy Ghostbuster declared it, the reality today is that there are great repositories of articles and videos online compiled by trusted sources, easy to digest with a smartphone or tablet. Here are a few biblically-based landing pads with helpful information:

  1. Gospel Coalition Resources

They have thoughtful resources for various stages, present and future:

Singleness

Dating

Marriage

2. Desiring God articles

Another legacy repository with an easy link to articles on DATING and SINGLENESS from John Piper and others.

3. Books (from Various Angles)

It may not be the straightforward route that best serves our understanding of dating, courtship and marriage. Sometimes it’s good to get perspective from a father in terms of marrying his daughter, or a book on marriage which is a direction every Christian dating relationship should be thinking toward. Here are a few ideas to spice things up:

How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk: The Foolproof Way to Follow Your Heart Without Losing Your Mind

by John Van Epp

What He Must Be: ...If He Wants to Marry My Daughter

by Voddie Baucham Jr.

When Sinners Say "I Do": Discovering the Power of the Gospel for Marriage

by Dave Harvey

Of course, no amount of online reading or a books can totally supplant solid discipleship within your local church community. Our member in question will be connecting with an elder and probably taking a class in the near future, but these are helpful supplements to support a healthy, accountable Christian walk. .

We’ll update this post as other trusted recommendations roll in - feel free to suggest! - but for now we’ll challenge our dating folks to dive into these and other like-minded resources to get a handle on a godly relationship angling toward a God-directed, Christ-centered future.

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